Microsoft Says Malware is in my Computer. Which One?

I wonder just how big the call center is that’s calling every phone number in the USA and saying these words…

“Hello. My name is Mike”
(Sounded more like his name was anything but Mike, actually.)
“I am calling from the Microsoft. We have for last fours weeks now see malware in your computer.”
Me: Hello, Mike!
Me: Well, that’s OK. My computers get messed up a lot. Kids.
“Well, yes, we now see malwares in your computer, and we can fix…”
Me: Which one?
Me: Which computer is it in? I have eleven.
“How many computer you have?”
Me: Eleven. All the kids have at least one, and a school notebook. Tell me the name of the sick one, or the user name, and I’ll let you fix it.
(long silence. quiet hangup, really)

Remember, fraud implies trust. Your trust. When in doubt, ask lots of basic questions. Of course, “Mike” is no more of a Microsoft employee, contractor, or affiliate than any other con artist. The numbers were in his favor that I would have a Windows-based computer. When you get the call, or the new version when this one stops paying off, just ask nice dumb questions, and it will become very clear, very fast, than the caller isn’t what he claims. Then either hang up, or explain to Mike that there are better phone bank jobs in answering tech support calls than in dialing out for fake malware cleanups.